I am currently 23.5 weeks into my second pregnancy (and my belly is as big as Rachel Zoe’s was at 9 months pregnant), and let me tell you, being pregnant is HARD WORK. Not that it isn’t worth it, because it 100% is, but DUDE is it still TOUGH. Everything you experience is heightened — your emotions, thoughts, aches and pains, fears, anticipations, and expectations. So here is a little list of lists for those who are pregnant, or those who want to be a good friend to someone who is pregnant. Every pregnant woman deserves a medal, and here are some tips on how to deal with it all.

Five things to never say to pregnant women:
1. You look so huge!
2. You look a lot more pregnant since the last time we hung out!
3. How much weight have you gained?
4. You must be having a girl!
5. You weren’t this big last time, were you?

Get the picture? Every pregnant woman knows that 1. They are big 2. They are constantly getting bigger. 3. They have gained a significant amount of weight 4. There is a myth that girls “steal the beauty from pregnant mothers” (hence the implications if you tell someone you think they are having a girl) 5. On the second pregnancy, their body reacts differently (and not positively). Get it?

First trimester of belly three years ago. Me and my nephew, Axel. We called the baby in my belly "Little Axel" to Axel, so when the baby was finally born and we named him, "Cruz," Axel was confused why his name wasn't "Little Axel."

Here I am, this time around. 20 weeks. Bigger and badder than before.

Five fashion tips for pregnant women
1. Gap.com and oldnavy.com are awesome.
2. Don’t buy fashion trends. Waste of money.
3. Invest in a good looking pair of maternity jeans. Worth the money. And you will wear them all the time. Last time, I got J Brand skinny jeans.  And they were great.
4. Comfort is key!
5. Accessories — scarves, jewels, bags, shoes — are a great pick-me-up.

I have found that looking cute during pregnancy is a struggle. Every day, looking through my closet causes some pain or agony in terms of what to wear, what is comfortable and current, and what clothes look like on my large and in charge body. Once you are done with your pregnancy, you will never want to wear the same maternity clothes again, so don’t splurge on unnecessary clothes claiming you will “wear them, post baby” — trust me, you will not. So find some cute, affordable, comfortable clothes that will last for the 9 months and treat yourself with some awesome accessories that will last forever.

Five first trimester tips for pregnant women
1. Buy bigger undies.
2. Buy bigger bras.
3. Indulge in cookies now. If not now, when?
4. Be appreciative and thankful for each moment with the baby inside
5. If you only want to eat Cheetos and challah — just do it!

The first trimester is not fun. The nausea, morning sickness, hiding the fact that you are pregnant, turning antisocial — it is all such a hard process to go through. Although very much worth it, it will become your reality after the baby is born. Friends? What friends? Fatty McGee? Yep, extra lbs still there. Tired? Welcome to parenthood.

This is me in August 2009 -- 2 months before giving birth to my son, Cruz. I can't believe how small I was in comparison to this time around. I am now 23 weeks, and i look BIGGER than I do here. UNFAIR!

Five second trimester tips for pregnant women
1.  Sleep as much as possible now before you are too big or too tired.
2. Party like a rockstar (without the actual partying part). Now is the time to stay out late and be social while you can.
3. Travel as much as possible. And use your emerging stomach to help you beat security lines and get better seats.
4. Enjoy the kicks, jabs, pokes, rolls from the baby. Better now when the baby is the size of a spaghetti squash than when s/he is bigger and you are more uncomfortable.
5. Start planning a push present now. And a baby moon. And any other presents you can milk.  You deserve it!

I have found that second trimester is the only good part of pregnancy. And that said, some people are pretty miserable the whole pregnancy (cough cough like myself). Don’t get me wrong, I’m soooo excited and blessed and thankful and appreciative of this gift of life, but I’m a pretty whiny and un-fun pregnant lady. Your body changes, your hormones go crazy, you have pains, insomnia, neurotic thoughts, fears, worries… and more!

Literally, just a couple of days before Cruz was born. HOW HUGE was I? LORDIE!!! The belly looks like a rocket ship!

Five third trimester tips for pregnant women
1. Pick up gossip magazines and read them now — you will never ever have the chance and freedom to do so for a very long time. I am still waiting for that time to come now.
2. Reading sleep books and nursing how-to books and parenting books before the baby is born is a waste of time. Do not do it! In one ear, out the other. You will figure it out when you are actually in the war-zone.
3. Hello spa days!
4. Milk everyone for everything NOW. Soon, you will only be the mother, and everyone’s focus will be on the baby. But now, you are still queen.
5. Do not look through your closet and complain about nothing fitting. Nothing will fit. Nothing. So looking at your clothes will just make you depressed.

Oh third trimester….for me, it was worse than the first….not excited to be almost there…but then after all is said and done, the joy of having a newborn is unlike anything  else. Pure magic, beauty, bliss and love.

HOW adorable is my cutie-pa-tootie friend, Irene (2 weeks before her baby was born)? I am so jealous because this is what every pregnant woman wants to look like, and yet, in reality, very few pregnant women look this cute. Irene is the exception. Of course. Hate her.

Get ready for tips for “Expectant Fathers” tomorrow from Ken!

Have a great start to the week!

– AYN, aka The Josie Girl.